Kathyrn Grody

its 230 in the morning and i shouldnt be writing this when im beyond bleary eyed and brained but i just finished having yet another of many continuous conversations with my 20 yr old son who saw "my" oak tree tonight....and he said mom, the audience feels all that the second actor feels, we see you as the old man, we feel everything youre feeling because were experiencing everything you are at the same time...i wonder, he said, if this will be a model for so many new plays??! i am still not sure what happened...i loved lying on the floor i loved speaking thru the phones i didnt like playing the piano but what i "liked" or didnt is so unimportant because the being part, the being truly naked while feeling anything is what is so unusual and extraordinairy about this eveing...and i miss it already and want it back and dont want to do it again couldnt do it again and its so frigging zen...the being alive in each moment and letting each one go with the breathing in and the breathing out or as tim says the locking and unlocking and of course several friends thought it started at 8 and missed it and i will always have a little bit of grief about not being able to share this experience with them because unlike other "performances" this wasnt one, this was as close to flying as i will get in my particular lifetime tho i think i just might take a bit of wing with me for any other piece i ever do on stage i just might do an oak tree mantra to remind me of the power of simply being even trying to just be...and i loved that my sons are still talking about it (tho the younger said it was the first time in his life he wanted really wanted to be up there doing whatever that was) so tim if after all these years of relief that our two boys from two theatricals managed to forge a different and perhaps less challangeing path UNTIL tonight, well , i wont hold it against you because passion and an open heart are not the worst things to be involved with in a daily livlihood...which is what tonight remindedme of....my friends who came, among them very accomplished folk with jobs that have clear margins and hours and with whom i sometimes feel as ephemeral as dust when comparing our daily tasks (performer vs doctors, vice presidents of big companies, publicists, lawyers) spoke of what they saw as foreign and as thrilling to them as flying, literal flying and that they couldnt conceive of doing something as brave or bold or strange and it reminded me of the magic and power of the theatre and it reminded me how much i love being part of that, all of it including my insane apology to tim as soon as we got off stage for missing a cue...! blessings on you all for this magical notion thank you thank you kathryn